pms-y

the days leading up to one's birthday.. is it supposed to go up and down like waves?? Cos i'm totally on this wavy pms-y line right now.. I'm smiling, happy and content one moment, and crying, depressed the next. WTF?!

I feel loved, yet unloved. i feel very alone.. i lack happiness in my own heart.  ):

Still going on with celebration plans though... lovelove.

the case of daffney

so apparently, Daphne is indeed a really rare name here! (a tad surprised since there are quite many greeks here, and it originates from Greece). When I called the clinic for an appt today, they accepted my name immediately when i said "Daphne".. a little surprised, but i thought "hey they know!"

I even filled a particulars form when i got there today.. apparently they probably don't even look at it. cos the doc asked me every question that was on the form all over again.. and when I came out with the prescription and looked, my name was freakin "Daffney Tan" OMGOMG. i wanted to burst out in laughter, but thought it quite rude to. But i dunno why i cared, considering i should be the one upset about my name being SO GROSSLY MISSPELLED!

And i was still thinking... wow. they're making me/my parents sound like Daffy Duck/ disney fan or sth. daffney. it looks funny! kiddish and weird. gah. I corrected them, and they updated their database, but i'm left with that name on the prescription..

Worse still, i brought it to the pharmacy, and they added an "i" -- Daffiney. which i just saw just now. Truly speechless!!

I will not entertain any comments that says "Hey, i thought daphne is pretty common!" It is NOT! it is rare and special, and truly rare to the point that the above can happen, here in Oz.. I know it seems pretty common in SG, but it wasn't when i was young.. (had it mispronounced in all sorts of ways by a whole host of ppl) I dunno how many ppl must've given themselves the name too! (i say. not counted!) haha. meh. Yea, i know i'm quite anal when i talk about my name.. :P

Down.. again.

Booohoo! Today is the worst day to feel sick. Gahhh.

Not very surprising though. I had two nights (or mornings) that I slept at 4am.. last week. and I drank. Then, 2ams and 3ams with get togethers, work and heading out to eat. Not to mention, daylight savings is over (or now on, can't figure out which), and we lost an hour of sleep as a result... sleep debt is baddddd!

To my sg friends~ My time diff with u is now 3 hours, not 2. ): makes chatting a little harder. cos i need to stay up later to see some of u.. in fact, was really tired yesterday skyping with parents. I was also uber frustrated with the booking of my SG flight tickets and using my brains to research storage, book my jetstar flight..etc. arghhh. I just growled and turned everything off. went right off to bed, angry. :S (i also felt the onset of illness..)

True enough, I woke up to a not-so-healthy self. ):

Which is horrid cos I wanted to go gym for everyday of this week starting today. Now it seems like I shouldn't... rahh!! I do need to not waste my money and make full use of my last week.. not to mention, i've been eating lots the past week thanks to the hols! i even went out with joee and min yesterday for korean bbq --" and i thought i could work it off.. CRAP. my only hope is to get fully well soon!

Also sad cos i could've had a very interesting tutorial at my cinema class today. They watched "House of flying daggers" and I wanted to go watch the screening to see if it was in Mandarin, but alas. I couldn't get myself out of bed. Too tired mentally and physically to go to lecture and tut later too. sigh. I was looking forward to tut. wanted to see what the others had to say abt the movie. and i wanted back my first assignment.. will book an appt with Rolando this week hopefully..

That's it. I'm drinking up and heading to bed. zzzzzz

action-packed singapore. geee.

It's F1 Fever in Singapore.. and here I am starting a boooorrrrrinnggg week of hols in melbourne. LOL! I wasn't aware that many stars were in Sg for F1 too!

I knew Lindsay Lohan was gonna be in Singapore, hosting F1 concerts was it? That was thanks to Melv's tweets. And then, I went to look @ LiLo's tweets and realised that Gwen Stefani, Beyonce and Black Eyed Peas were there too!? That's quite a bunch of acts i'd like to catch.. did these things ever happen before I came here? haha. damn!!

I mean, all these acts at once? o.O I'm afraid that perhaps I was just lazy and ill-informed when I WAS actually in Sg? haha. shrugs. I miss Sg.. and all the ppl. but somehow i'm not really in that much of a rush to go back.. Everybody's gonna be gone real soon. Most are leaving shortly after exams. Obviously, I will be delaying since I'm touring Gold coast before coming back... Will miss my Aus friends, my intl friends.. next year will be different yea? i think so.. definitely not the same floormates anymore. As for my intl friends.. hopefully it'll still feel the same when we see each other again.

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Speaking of floormates, my floor's got to be the most exciting ever. After the laundry saga... comes the toilet saga!! *surprise* this one's really EWWWW. and seriously, who the fuck did it?! One of the toilets.. the one closest to the wing entrance.. somebody actually shat (read: shit) on the floor?! like, right next to the toilet bowl in the first cubicle (only 2 cubicles). WTF?!!? yea i saw it. sheesh!! and then, Curt was being all creative and "sealed" the toilet with toilet paper (think a big X)and pasted a sign saying "warning: biohazard" and another saying "Do not enter unless you want to pick shit off the floor" LOL!!! It was further "sealed" entirely with newspapers, but that was torn off by his morning...

It's amazing what happens around here.. and we've been spamming messages on facebook trying to get the culprit to just remove it. but nope.. I just pity the cleaning lady. She must go crazy when she sees it!! Glad this toilet's actually the furthest from me! Phew~

blorb.

feeling mighty sian... (lazy, lethargic, unexcited)

Slept pretty late last night, feeling all crappy. gah! i did stay up for a while to avoid puffy eyelids. but didn't work completely lol! the warmth and comfort of my bed just kept me in all morning. i didn't wanna leave my little cocoon, where i can just rest and not think (or try not to). ha. so unmotivated. in the end, decided not to go for the movie screening. shall go for lecture later tho. just to see what went on today. Last week's tut made me realise how many ppl don't go for screening and tut! Geee. I feel like skipping tut today as well honestly. VERY SIAN.

And tonight's supposed to be lasertag with the floor. was pretty excited, but now also fucking sian. just feel so bah. today. (altho motivated enough to make myself instant noodle lunch.)

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Saw Mag jie's facebook album yesterday. She does handmade jewellery as well! And they're v nice too :D no wonder i can click with her, similar interests that we didn't even know about. Artsy crafty kinds. Was very impressed with her home. and the hand-drawn stuff she has on her walls. OMG! i'm super super impressed with both her and her hubby Dom! Mighty cool that they both share the artistic flair and interest.. not to mention i believe Dom is a super good hubby. (: Mag jieeee, u know ur the envy of many girls right! haha.

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Seriously must forget? but i remember so much, down to almost every last detail. and i'm so stubborn... argh! hate to think it's just "another lesson learnt".

less fragile, but still fragile. fuck it.

Qimin is watchin Love or Bread (some TW drama?), she answered affirmatively "bread!" when asked herself. DAMN! It seems I'm surrounded by all these practical girls. Or do more girls grow practical as they get older? Do romantics still exist in the "older" realms? haha. Maybe they are those left on the shelf. Or lucky enough to find the mythical "one". (but then mythical is unreal what. hmpf.)

short update turned this-and-thats

Another short update. ha. [edit] it won't be as short as i expected lol [/edit] At least they're more frequent. Today I got visitors from Australia, Singapore, Mexico, Thailand, Philippines, US and Malaysia. Ooh~ Why hello there! Even though I still haven't quite figured out how they got here.. and nobody's doing my polls nor commenting. humph. haha.

Anyways, I'm happy enough for visitors. Thanks also to Yietze for her plug in one of her latest post about sesame street inspired accessories. I baked some cookie monster cupcakes a few months back.

In quite a chirpy mood now 'cos I have finally printed the final copy of my team's Bio enquiry. Glad to have been of good help and it felt really satisfying compiling everything (: It helps too, of course, when I have helpful teammates who are always available to help me. Makes the work so much easier!

Also watched another Scorsese film: Taxi Driver. (you can find it on youtube.) It's a very slow-paced movie, rather psychotic as well. But that's its charm. Robert Deniro was still so young then, and I think he actually looked a bit like Milo Ventimiglia at certain angles. Deniro proves to be such a crazy good actor.. Scorsese himself appears in this film, and in a scene which I find quite poignant as he was acting and yet still "directing" DeNiro, or his character to be more exact. I can start on my essay real soon!

And what i wanted to blog about initially. which would have made this truly a short update... we had floor dinner today! I don't really have grp pictures. just me in my outfit. XP The photos of ppl and food are on someone else's cam. Will do that update another time.

I'm looking quite chubby in the face here. haha. n my boots were cut, but they weren't really fabulous anyway :P That bag is a black "lil boxy" purchased from http://ownabag.blogspot.com/ Min liked it (: Had another coat on when we got out cos the winds are real strong today and it was cold! We had emails from the school warning us about the Victorian winds today and asking people to be safe and try to stay indoors. So instead of taking the trams, we had people drive us out in groups. Luckily we had enough cars and drivers to go around our floor. :D Thanks Ben! There were also warnings on electricity disturbances, but that didn't happen here. I'm thinking the internet connection got a bit choppy just before this though..

Oh! Got my two "parcels" today, one expected (bought stuff for someone's surprise haha) and another that I didn't expect... why? Cos it's about.. 4 months late! My dad sent me this security suite CD in April and we thought it was lost to the world somehow, somewhere.. and I got it.. today?! ahaha.

The stamps involved. It's normal mail.
"21 APR 2009" wow.

Just stamps from my other parcel. What a plethora. Got it registered after thinking I'd lost that CD forever. Recommend registering all parcels to Australia if u want it to be reasonably fast.. (even then, within a week or slightly longer maybe?)

that's it. xo

yikes school ):

was pretty excited to be back. but now i'm piled up with work.. feeling pretty miserable indeed. slowly catching up with what i missed last week.. and trying to keep on task with the upcoming stuff this week. It's still rather a mess as to what we've to do for all the enquiries. oh gosh. why is sem 2 so much harder than sem 1. and so suddenly too!

besides that, i've also been feeling pretty down. hearing bad news from relatives... RIP yi zhang.. i can't believe how sudden this news came. and altho i gota admit i'm not that close to him, to have someone that you actually really know just pass away without warning. it's really upsetting.. and... well, it reminds me how short life is. how we can always just be taking our last breath any moment. i start to fear how it'd be when someone dear to me leaves me like that. so please... take care of yourselves please. i want u all to stay safe.

guess the above has also made me realise how lonely i am here.. somehow something just doesn't feel the same.. just.. i can't explain it. but it's just not the same. i feel very lonely. and i can't sleep even as i lie in bed everynight.. when i've to wake early the next morning. which really sucks ): i dunno what to do... sigh.

today's just not the best for me i guess. oh had our elective today. first lecture n tut. i thought it went ok. i'm not very vocal but i think i enjoyed the points raised in discussion.. felt like i'm really learning something new. things i wouldn't otherwise know, although it may seem complex sometimes. i'm doing a cinema-related elective btw.. thought it was great cos everything is discussion based. no real work. just two essays. which i suppose if we really need help, we can go find the lecturer/tutor for personal help.. yea. but, it seems amanda and qimin didn't like it. it's really not their type.. ): i've been fearing from the moment i convinced them to change elective.. that they'd hate it. i see it happening now, and not too subtly as well. and i guess the bad thing is that they'd bought the handbook and feels like they should continue with it even when they really don't.

can't say i was all fine and dandy when they exclaimed i dragged them into this. not esp from one of 'em, who said she wouldn't blame me since she agreed to it herself. guess this pissy feeling is also no thanks to the fact that my stupid water bottle decided to unscrew somehow and drowned the contents in my bag. including my handphone. WTH!!!last i checked it still worked, but now... nope. i think it's the end. will probably blowdry it later just to see if i can save it at all.. the last bid.

anyways, truly. i just feel like releasing some of this anger and sadness in me. but i dunno how and i can't. crying is just making my itchy swollen left eye worse. yea, i dunno how that happened but it's still not completely recovered. and seriously. can the floor just stop congregating in this area and just SHUT UP?! it's seriously NOT re-Oweek anymore so can u just stfu for once??

ohnoes.

sigh.. was pretty prepared to stay longer in aus. even if it's all the way till the end of year, yea that's what i felt even as we were leaving glenn that morning. and in just a short 2 weeks, i now feel mighty mighty upset that i've to go back ): rahhh.

after meeting all my friends, eating all that food. meeting all the ppl i have known and cared about. eating virtually any kind of cuisine i wanted. not having to feel the torturous cold (i hear 4 degrees??) esp at night. getting some quiet now which i expect i won't really have for next week at least. haha. damn my "homebodiness" is creeping back slowly, i'm gonna have to be kickstarted again to the life in melb..

i do have ppl i miss in melb of course.. and i have belongings there too.. n i expect there'd be more potential fun this semester. but somehow the more i think back on the last few days.. and the measly 4 more days i have here, i just feel super upset.. it's not enough time.. altho yea, i'm pretty sure i can probably get back real soon. last sem DID go by quite fast..

don't really like this feeling. makes me feel like the old me 5 months ago who was, i dunno, less grown up. but i suppose it'll always be in me to wanna be home. to be sentimental. and to miss ppl n things.. i get stubborn when i care for things and people, i do not wanna change my mind. i just wanna hold on, despite everything. foolish? i dunno. well.. no matter what, i'll still have to let go of physically being here at least.. in 4 days..

a more upbeat post soon. with pictures!

rantrant.

promised to rant about krisworld last post, so i shall now.

There's been an obvious drop in standards in the SQ inflight entertainment! Air travel has always been quite bad for me. I like travelling, but i hate the journey. mostly cos i hate long long plane flights where i have nothing to do. Then i found SIA!

I remember a few years back taking SQ to Gold Coast, and I was dreading the journey as usual. but the inflight entertainment had tons of selection for songs/movies/tv programmes. kept me at my seat.. entertained.. and satisfied. and before i knew it, I was in Aus! I always remember that feeling I got.. and I wasn't disappointed in Feb this year too when I took the plane to Melb. But omigosh. it was horrid!!!!! (to say the least) when we came back. I'm sure Amanda and Qimin can testify to this too.

First of all, the krisworld thing kept hanging. and image kept skipping. I heard similar complaints from the passengers sitting behind me too.. thinking that it was just initial bumps, i just paid no mind and waited. but it never got better. A while later, I managed to get into krisworld menu, but even though there's a choice of movie we get, it doesn't play on demand... so we've already missed at least 20mins of the start just cos the system wasn't displaying previously. Not to mention, there wasn't much choice at all. And we were largely bored...

TV programmes. there was a menu with several programmes... a guise that we actually had a choice. I selected "My name is Earl" and it's playing some other show which I've no clue what it was. Proceeded to select some other show, and it didn't work too. Basically, the shows kept playing in a certain order, whether or not you like it. If you missed it, then aww too bad. rah.

So maybe we could rely on some good ol' music? When i flew to melb in feb, i rmb being able to select my fav songs and putting them on a playlist and listen to them like my own personal player. Well, that function was definitely non-existent. Amanda and I were both disappointed cos we have been telling Qimin that she missed out that awesome function and she didn't have to load her ipod with new songs! Well, lucky she did. so she still had her ipod of songs. To be fair, the audio wasn't TOOO bad. but i was never a fan of fixed playlists/radio selections on board.

overall, variety was horrible. and the system kept screwing up. Now I don't rightly know if the fault lies with the aircraft, the particular flight or the programming... but I definitely rmb it being way better before. And i can only imagine why.. (a change of production perhaps?) I just hope SQ realises how impt quality is.

rant about melbourne.

Quite often recently, I can be heard saying (surprisingly, explained later) that I made the right choice in coming to Melbourne to study. Well, technically it wasn't a statement that was made specifically pertaining to Melb, more like.. being overseas.



Before coming over (earlier this year), I've always been very very much a homebody. (read: likes to stay at home all day. would rather hermit at home than travel the world altho that'd be nice) Didn't really cross my mind that perhaps I'll be out of Singapore for years at length just to obtain my degree, the thought of it scared me even. Being away, alone, or with people who potentially do NOT like you.. for any reasons; valid or not. I knew too, that I'd miss friends and family, especially my grandma. (thought of her being lonely at home.. seems even worse than me being alone)

So anyways, having been here for a while now. I find it refreshing, the freedom, independence, responsibilities. Oh, and the new culture, meeting new people, being exposed to new things.. and I VERY much enjoy the slower pace here. Sure it gets a little wayyy tooo slowww here, but I'm not complaining cos to me, slower is better than too fast. That's just personal tho. Basically, I think i'm growing up here.. and hey, i'm making friends with all these people i could imagine I'd NEVER have otherwise known.

Yea well, all that aside. I still miss home: the efficiency, night life, food, security. The handling of H1N1 here hasn't been exactly.. effective? in fact, the news headlines are *surprise surprise* NOT H1N1 updates at all. It was at first, and then it was all quiet. I have to hear what's happening in Melb from Singapore. that's just quite ridiculous. And there hasn't been much precautionary measures/warnings given here.. Basically, I don't think they handle many epidemics, and more importantly seeing as this is not fatal, they couldn't care less. Nobody instills that one should protect ourselves/ our community from spread. So everyon'es like "oh bother!"

As a result, Singapore's now much much affected by H1N1 from Melb visitors.. but to be fair, is now spreading from internally. RArgh. In any case, I have to self-quarantine when I get back!! There goes precious 5 days or so! Didn't have many days to start with... oh great! >.<

Wellll. rant's over. more day to day stuff to come!