emotional fuckup.

my mind is filled constantly with images of the same person. it never ends. this feeling is familiar, it has happened before.. just different kind of feelings now.. they used to be filled with joy. and now it's.. numbing. and slows u down..

u push it aside, u know it's jogging right next to u.. so yea, it's a numbing sort of pain. dull. but there.

u question so much, but u can't speak. nobody to turn to.

finally u hear of some news.. he speaks. u couldn't breathe. u literally couldn't catch ur breath.. and ur tears well and fall all in that one instant. u let the dam break, the flood wash over everything.. u hate this wall u built, but u've no choice.. u try to let it bring u the calm u wanted.. and we keep trying... that's the only thing we can do now.