pms-y

the days leading up to one's birthday.. is it supposed to go up and down like waves?? Cos i'm totally on this wavy pms-y line right now.. I'm smiling, happy and content one moment, and crying, depressed the next. WTF?!

I feel loved, yet unloved. i feel very alone.. i lack happiness in my own heart.  ):

Still going on with celebration plans though... lovelove.

the case of daffney

so apparently, Daphne is indeed a really rare name here! (a tad surprised since there are quite many greeks here, and it originates from Greece). When I called the clinic for an appt today, they accepted my name immediately when i said "Daphne".. a little surprised, but i thought "hey they know!"

I even filled a particulars form when i got there today.. apparently they probably don't even look at it. cos the doc asked me every question that was on the form all over again.. and when I came out with the prescription and looked, my name was freakin "Daffney Tan" OMGOMG. i wanted to burst out in laughter, but thought it quite rude to. But i dunno why i cared, considering i should be the one upset about my name being SO GROSSLY MISSPELLED!

And i was still thinking... wow. they're making me/my parents sound like Daffy Duck/ disney fan or sth. daffney. it looks funny! kiddish and weird. gah. I corrected them, and they updated their database, but i'm left with that name on the prescription..

Worse still, i brought it to the pharmacy, and they added an "i" -- Daffiney. which i just saw just now. Truly speechless!!

I will not entertain any comments that says "Hey, i thought daphne is pretty common!" It is NOT! it is rare and special, and truly rare to the point that the above can happen, here in Oz.. I know it seems pretty common in SG, but it wasn't when i was young.. (had it mispronounced in all sorts of ways by a whole host of ppl) I dunno how many ppl must've given themselves the name too! (i say. not counted!) haha. meh. Yea, i know i'm quite anal when i talk about my name.. :P

would u?

i tweeted this.. haha. "to be honest, i miss being in a relationship.. a whole and fulfilling one. i'd love the r/s more than i'd love the guy tho.. lol."



kinda sad isn't it? i think i miss being... wanted. and needed. (not really concerned who the guy is. not entirely anyway) even tho my usual policy is love rather than to be loved. But loving and giving can get tiring... besides, I've made one realisation recently, and that is I don't think I can ever say I love someone the way i know i can love at my maximum. I know how much my love can go at its peak, and it's with my grandma..  it's really an unconditional kinda love, full of respect and admiration, fear of loss, and a test of patience lol!! loving her for everything... i doubt anyone can beat that. well, not yet for sure.

haha, so yea... i might've lost all strength to be the strong one with all the initiative. time i took a step back.. what if i say i want to be pampered, cared for by someone who can be there whenever i need him to be. yet be able to accept i may never love him as much as he does me? would there still be anyone left?? haha. DOUBT IT! AND what if it's not specifically to me, guys out there... will u ever give so much to a girl who might not love u as much?? where do those girls find these guys huh. anyway, i'll be picky too.. blah.

Which reminds me, Amie (a senior at glenn too) told me few days ago that she skypes her bf 5 hours everyday!!! EVERY-freaking-day! for 5 hours!! whatthe?! i'm impressed, but i don't think i could ever do that... and i don't think they just got into the r/s, in fact, their hours are lengthening, what on earth do they talk about? haha. they amaze me la... she's from brunei, he's from sg.. and now she's studying here, he's working and they still find time for each other..all the time. can kowtow already.

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on a completely separate note, my granny went to hospital again last night. but then she's ok now.. it was high BP. i think she was getting worried abt her BP, then lack sleep and got emotionally upset by my parents. ESP my dad!!! raised his voice at her again.. scolded him today for it. omg!!! those 2 (mum n dad) need to grow up!!! i gave them both a lesson cos they're both not patient to my granny at all. told them a buncha things which got my dad a bit speechless and my mum crying.. sth to the effect of always remembering what she has done for them, esp. with bringing me and bro up, and her living most of her life giving to us all. every person has a great story behind her, and i know she has always been a strong woman (went out to work and not stay home and be housewife kind ok!) so let her have her way now.. she's old already, won't want any regrets would we? i think it's an effective way to maintain our patience and love for granny. she's completely ADMIRABLE!! and she's a treasure not a nuisance!

So just now during skype, granny and i looked at each other. i told her i love her. and she immediately teared!! she said she loved me back, and we were both in tears. ohgosh. mutual unsaid words of "totally missing u!!!" were resounding in my head. anyway, my mum promised to be good to her. she better. she's her daughter! geez.

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ok. so... any takers for me?? HAHA.

my crazycool pressie from bro~

I can't keep being the emokid. i've already promised not to be emo eh? So i must neutralise my previous post by being all happy here! :P So earlier this week i got this HUGE AS box in the mail.. so i got my notice to collect this parcel, they even indicated on that paper "Very large!" soo funny! i kinda knew what to expect by then as bro had kinda told me it'd arrive sometime soon. I got a huge shock the first time, like 1.5 weeks ago, when i received an acer monitor.. wondering hard why i was receiving it lol.

Anyway, when i got to the recept, they were like "this box is massive!! u gotta come in, i'll lend u a trolley" haha. yeaaa awesome! so i wheeled it back to my room with Kerry's help. yay!

Photos below to big reveal...

just to show u how massive it is! Bet you've never gotten such a huge box in the mail have u? :P

In that box, carried this! MY FAB 4!! lovelovelove.

this is the back. it's so big cos it's not just the game disc (duh!), it comes with the 'hofner guitar' and 'ludwig drumset'! There's like a printed autograph of Paul and Ringo in this photo too if u look hard enough.

Herehere! all assembled :D

oyes, the mic and micstand comes with it too! :D

Of course, i needed a console to play the game, hey? Here it is, unwrapped!

X360!

Couldn't play it with my laptop, so my bro also got me the monitor (previously mentioned). and a VGA cable for it too! he thought of everything i'm so blessed! cos i'm like a game idiot. and just bcos i wanna play the beatles rock band, he got me everything i needed! MAJOR LOVE! btw, all these are for my 21st bday... no one can beat him this year. FOR SURE. haha. (love bro~ soooo much. i know we're a lot closer than most other sibs i know. thankful for it. he makes me so proud too!)

the game disc is having a bit of problem at some points tho, only been able to play "quickplay" and not "story" which is what i'm dying to play. i wana track the progress of their career and they must have some conversations in there.. the animated them are not bad. really like them. altho not entirely the BEST graphics (in comparison to crazy good ones like in the recent FFs), but stillgreat!!

Already learnt some new songs. exciting! :D

And after this, will probably watch a DVD using my xbox! yay! apparently i can go on msn there too. but typing would be crap so why'd i do that lol. DVD is TKAM! to kill a mockingbird.. i wanted to watch for a while liao.. bought it since last year! teehee.

P.S. i'm totally snacking at night at the moment. crappp. but i'm hungry. and been craving sweets recently. what's up with that? i usually pick savoury over sweet ANY TIME!

P.P.S. some buncha possibly drunk ppl just came and were shouting and being annoying, and i heard them say "just break it! and then run!!" wtfwtf??! got me quite scared. and plus there was one loud bang on my window. dunno what happened. urgh. as long as my window is not smashed i'm not gonna look out man... not now.

emokid

i was going to make this entry a really long one with happy pictures and all that. but it took an entire day to upload everything, and then just a second for my chrome to crash on me and now i gotta re-upload everything. which i gave up after it crashed a second time, barely uploaded 3 photos then. GAH.

not the best of moods once again. so sad. why can't i be more happy and chirpy. like some ppl.... they don't worry much. they do what they've to do and they're happy happy happy. no problems. they don't think abt what's not theirs to worry about. i envy that! how does one stop their brain from doing all these excessive thinking. sucks!!

anyway, i was just thinking... i was getting pretty content with the way things go.. and happy enough about myself. but last night it was like me caving in like some wall hit by an earthquake. i wish i was ignorant of some facts, maybe it wouldn't hurt me as much. haha. i would probably have brushed it off too. but now i can't, and it bugs me to no end.. i feel like a fool... he has called me naive, and not just once too. maybe i should've taken the hint. i really don't wanna be a fool, if i ever was one. i can't let myself go ahead and be stupid right?? so yea. altho i can defend him in my mind with a million things. i would rather not. don't wanna be so spineless. blah.

oh n it's not that i'm not happy with myself, but it's true that not every personality appeals to everyone anyway. oya she's SUCH a vince!! no kidding. just glowy all round. i'm like howard stuck in vince's body. so awkward. tsk. emokid.

i hope u'll feel it if and when i go. at least that counts for sth?

backback.

hello! i'm back again. blogblog. i will be back for the long haul hopefully. and not be emo. hopefully. too.. hahaha. hopefully with more readers and my old readers and close frens can keep tabs on me.

so i was thinking, i need a new approach to life. living for the moment n enjoying every bit of it. when u focus on the present and experience everything fully... u'll find time doesn't actually pass as quickly as when u keep thinking ahead.. and u'll find life a lot more meaningful! ooh, enough of the motivational speech... but seriously.. i choose to live life this way, rather than finding that upon any potential immature death, i'm full of regret for being angry/sad at myself or others and wasting all this time not being happy!

I was gonna blog for about a week now.. but i kept wanting photos to be in it, and this whole big idea to revamp the blog and all, but never found the time n motivation to. at that rate, and knowing myself, i'd not get anything done!! so i thought. just get my arse down to blog sth small first. haha. while i sort out the photo thing.

anyways, this was meant to be a frivolous post! actually, a bit adult. might be a tad different from my previous posts? approach with caution i suppose. haha. so i'm on twitter, and was checking out @mikenumbnuts's tweets. He's Michael Braun, one half of Numbnuts (whose crazy dare vids can be found on http://clicknetwork.tv) u can follow @hutchnumbnuts too! who lately actually replied some of my tweets!

anyway, back to the topic. so mike retweeted one of the OMGfacts tweets. hahaha. http://ow.ly/1pT2ka clickclick on the link! it's like a persuasive little factoid paragraph telling us that sex is good for headaches, fevers and other random pains like migraines and arthritis.. wow? haha. technically not sex, more like orgasm. that is if u reach one. i think guys sure will la. haven't they heard also, that its a fact that not every woman can reach orgasm by penetrative sex alone? haha. so when women say they have headaches, it is still perfectly ALRIGHT for them to say NO! in fact, it makes even more sense for them to refuse, if sex doesn't cure them but frustrates them further when they don't get the high they want. tsk. thanks to the lousy guy who just gets high on his own. HAHA. ok. nvm. no more male bashing. haha. or awkward content for my frens to face.

haha. ohwait. there's more. cos i saw one comment saying "I know that's true, because orgasm can stop the pain from menstrual cramps in it's tracks. Not for long, granted... but then you can always do it again. =)" 

i can only say.. wow. i'm impressed. i'm like classic example of person suffering from crazy cramps la. to the point of cold sweating and almost puking for no reason can (altho never did)! then some months i get just a mild attack. but none of those times as i recall, would make me feel up for an orgasm, whether induced by others or oneself. (readers: as i think can be imagined even if one has no experience. correct me if u feel otherwise or dont understand haha) i'm like about to die already, feel so queasy and disgusting and still got mood for that??!! k la. whatever floats ur boat. lol. or she's just lucky that it's mild and she has wonderful hormones that make her horny so that she can conveniently relieve pain.

HAHa. k. abrupt ending. another day! soon!