i tweeted this.. haha. "to be honest, i miss being in a relationship.. a whole and fulfilling one. i'd love the r/s more than i'd love the guy tho.. lol."
kinda sad isn't it? i think i miss being... wanted. and needed. (not really concerned who the guy is. not entirely anyway) even tho my usual policy is love rather than to be loved. But loving and giving can get tiring... besides, I've made one realisation recently, and that is I don't think I can ever say I love someone the way i know i can love at my maximum. I know how much my love can go at its peak, and it's with my grandma.. it's really an unconditional kinda love, full of respect and admiration, fear of loss, and a test of patience lol!! loving her for everything... i doubt anyone can beat that. well, not yet for sure.
haha, so yea... i might've lost all strength to be the strong one with all the initiative. time i took a step back.. what if i say i want to be pampered, cared for by someone who can be there whenever i need him to be. yet be able to accept i may never love him as much as he does me? would there still be anyone left?? haha. DOUBT IT! AND what if it's not specifically to me, guys out there... will u ever give so much to a girl who might not love u as much?? where do those girls find these guys huh. anyway, i'll be picky too.. blah.
Which reminds me, Amie (a senior at glenn too) told me few days ago that she skypes her bf 5 hours everyday!!! EVERY-freaking-day! for 5 hours!! whatthe?! i'm impressed, but i don't think i could ever do that... and i don't think they just got into the r/s, in fact, their hours are lengthening, what on earth do they talk about? haha. they amaze me la... she's from brunei, he's from sg.. and now she's studying here, he's working and they still find time for each other..all the time. can kowtow already.
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on a completely separate note, my granny went to hospital again last night. but then she's ok now.. it was high BP. i think she was getting worried abt her BP, then lack sleep and got emotionally upset by my parents. ESP my dad!!! raised his voice at her again.. scolded him today for it. omg!!! those 2 (mum n dad) need to grow up!!! i gave them both a lesson cos they're both not patient to my granny at all. told them a buncha things which got my dad a bit speechless and my mum crying.. sth to the effect of always remembering what she has done for them, esp. with bringing me and bro up, and her living most of her life giving to us all. every person has a great story behind her, and i know she has always been a strong woman (went out to work and not stay home and be housewife kind ok!) so let her have her way now.. she's old already, won't want any regrets would we? i think it's an effective way to maintain our patience and love for granny. she's completely ADMIRABLE!! and she's a treasure not a nuisance!
So just now during skype, granny and i looked at each other. i told her i love her. and she immediately teared!! she said she loved me back, and we were both in tears. ohgosh. mutual unsaid words of "totally missing u!!!" were resounding in my head. anyway, my mum promised to be good to her. she better. she's her daughter! geez.
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ok. so... any takers for me?? HAHA.
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