was pretty excited to be back. but now i'm piled up with work.. feeling pretty miserable indeed. slowly catching up with what i missed last week.. and trying to keep on task with the upcoming stuff this week. It's still rather a mess as to what we've to do for all the enquiries. oh gosh. why is sem 2 so much harder than sem 1. and so suddenly too!
besides that, i've also been feeling pretty down. hearing bad news from relatives... RIP yi zhang.. i can't believe how sudden this news came. and altho i gota admit i'm not that close to him, to have someone that you actually really know just pass away without warning. it's really upsetting.. and... well, it reminds me how short life is. how we can always just be taking our last breath any moment. i start to fear how it'd be when someone dear to me leaves me like that. so please... take care of yourselves please. i want u all to stay safe.
guess the above has also made me realise how lonely i am here.. somehow something just doesn't feel the same.. just.. i can't explain it. but it's just not the same. i feel very lonely. and i can't sleep even as i lie in bed everynight.. when i've to wake early the next morning. which really sucks ): i dunno what to do... sigh.
today's just not the best for me i guess. oh had our elective today. first lecture n tut. i thought it went ok. i'm not very vocal but i think i enjoyed the points raised in discussion.. felt like i'm really learning something new. things i wouldn't otherwise know, although it may seem complex sometimes. i'm doing a cinema-related elective btw.. thought it was great cos everything is discussion based. no real work. just two essays. which i suppose if we really need help, we can go find the lecturer/tutor for personal help.. yea. but, it seems amanda and qimin didn't like it. it's really not their type.. ): i've been fearing from the moment i convinced them to change elective.. that they'd hate it. i see it happening now, and not too subtly as well. and i guess the bad thing is that they'd bought the handbook and feels like they should continue with it even when they really don't.
can't say i was all fine and dandy when they exclaimed i dragged them into this. not esp from one of 'em, who said she wouldn't blame me since she agreed to it herself. guess this pissy feeling is also no thanks to the fact that my stupid water bottle decided to unscrew somehow and drowned the contents in my bag. including my handphone. WTH!!!last i checked it still worked, but now... nope. i think it's the end. will probably blowdry it later just to see if i can save it at all.. the last bid.
anyways, truly. i just feel like releasing some of this anger and sadness in me. but i dunno how and i can't. crying is just making my itchy swollen left eye worse. yea, i dunno how that happened but it's still not completely recovered. and seriously. can the floor just stop congregating in this area and just SHUT UP?! it's seriously NOT re-Oweek anymore so can u just stfu for once??
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